Community Care: How We Can Move Beyond Self-Care & Show Up for Others

Take care of yourself. That is the mantra that is pushed and amplified when things get difficult. As Audre Lorde, a Black feminist and poet who dedicate her life’s work to confronting social injustices, puts it, “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence. It is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.” 

From a young age I’ve watched countless traumatizing videos of police violence against Black lives. I continue to feel hopeless, angry, disgusted, and disheartened. My friends tell me, “Take care of yourself.” And I tell them the same too, because we’ve learned that self-care is an act of compassion to ourselves to help us protect our mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical health. We all could benefit from self-care, especially while battling systemic injustices and racism in this country. In these times when the world around us is so cruel and our emotions are so high, practicing self-care can help us re-align ourselves and find balance. But, it is not enough.

In this post, I want to highlight what community care is and simple ways we can leverage some of our privilege, gifts, and talents to uplift and support members of our communities.

Why Self-Care is Not Enough

Self-care alone has not been able to heal any pain that I’ve personally encountered in my lifetime. And obviously, self-care will not fully heal the pain our community feels or protect our community from the deep seeded systemic social injustices we have to face for being Black. So why when we check in on our friends and family do we tell each other “take care of yourself” when it is clearly not enough?

I don’t want to diminish the importance of self-care and it’s vital role in our well-beings. Instead, I want to encourage that we look to moving beyond talks of just self-preservation and self-care, especially since practicing self-care isn’t a privilege that is afforded to everyone. What many of us need is community care—the kind of care that serves ourselves and those around us. 

 A substantial amount of my time in undergrad was spent studying public health, and  I’m passionate about health equity and eliminating socioeconomic disparities in health. For those reasons and more, I’m truly invested in the well-being of others around me and how we as a collective can heal together. 

So, How Are We Really Doing?

We have all been having a difficult time processing the events of the past two weeks regarding racism and police violence against Black Americans that led to the deaths of Breonna Taylor and George Floyd. There is a horribly long list of so many more names like  Eric Garner, Michael Brown, Tamir Rice, Freddie Gray, Trayvon Martin and…the names continue to go on and on, year after year. And, not to mention that we are all still battling the uncertainty of the coronavirus pandemic, where Black Americans account for a disproportionate number of COVID-19 deaths.  The systemic inequalities in the USA have existed for a long time and right now they are magnified following the advent of COVID-19. I’ve checked in and talked to my Black friends and family to see how we are doing. Here are some of their answers:

“Hopeless”

“Angry”

“Exhausted”

“Scared”

“Terrible”

“Uncertain”

“Outraged”

“Frustrated”

“Not in control”

“Not okay but okay”

The range of grief and emotions faced are enough to make anyone feel knocked down. I got to a point where it feels like no amount of donating, signing of petitions, discussing, reading, marching, protesting, spreading awareness on social media, or anything could feel like I was doing enough. Then I took a beat, paused, and practiced some self-care feeling somewhat refreshed but still uneasy. It’s at this point when I started to see how insufficient self-care is during times of crisis.

Why We Should Cope With & Respond to Distress Through Community Care

What exactly is community care? In short, I think of it as the care we need for each other to thrive. Nakita Valerio, an award-winning writer and community organizer, went viral on social media in 2019 after posting “Shouting ‘self-care’ at people who actually need community care is how we fail people.” to her facebook status in response to the horrific terrorist attack on Muslim worshipers that killed over 50 people at two mosques in Christchurch, New Zealand.  In an article that Valerio  wrote for Flare she recounts her state of grief after the attack and how she felt unable to move in her daily life as she tried to balance her frustration and responsibilities as a mother, business owner, and community organizer. She describes community care as many things:

“Community care is focused on the collective: taking care of people together, for everything from basic physical needs to psychological and even spiritual ones.”

“Community care is a recognition of the undeniable cooperative and social nature of human beings and involves a commitment to reduce harm simply through being together.”

“Community care means showing up; it means that when you find yourself in the position of being able to give more than you need to receive, you do so.”

“Ultimately, community care is a commitment to contributing in a way that leverages one’s relative privilege while balancing one’s needs. It’s trusting that your community will have you when you need support, and knowing you can be trusted to provide the same.”

These ideas surrounding community care aren’t new, but I think they often get drowned out by the self-care conversations. If we really want to protect our mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical health to maintain our strength and determination for our fight against social injustices we need to show up for each other.

How to Show Up: Simple Ways to Practice Community Care

Practicing community care doesn’t mean that we all have to take on organizing projects and leading large scale care initiatives. While it does include these things, all we really have to do is show up and do what we can do. Here are some simple but not insignificant ways we can serve ourselves and those around us:

• Literally, show up
• Show that you care by checking in on others
• Listen to others to understand then to be understood
• Connect people to needed resources
• Donate money, if you can
• Share what you already have
• Volunteer with community organizations
• Cook or share a meal with someone
• Help someone run errands
• Make care packages for people
• Invest in your existing relationships
• Foster new relationships
• Host a gathering
• Host a virtual gathering
• Offer your insight or advice
• Use your talents to help someone else
• Share some good news
• Ask, “How can I help support you?”

There are so many other ways we can support each other. Do you have ideas of other ways we can move beyond practicing self-care and towards community care? Next time I speak to a friend in need instead of saying “take care of yourself,” I’ll be saying “Let’s take care of each other.”